The Wallace Column: Appalled of Kensington

Regular Horneteers will know that Wallace, The Guv’nor’s long-standing associate and friend, has an opinion or two on matters of style. Today we find him appalled… 

At first I thought it was some ghastly rumour, but now I’ve heard it. Actually heard it. The Man From The Hornet, a man of undoubted skill – so they tell me – has made a recording… of The Guv’nor singing!

Is there nothing to which that man will resort? Is no low too subterranean in the odyssey of his ego?

I wouldn’t say it was actually singing per se. More like talking over the music.

But then I wouldn’t exactly say that the music was particularly musical either.

I can only assume he’s trying to emulate my dear friend Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady.

Just as I once taught a great young Italian tenor  – sadly no longer with us – to breathe over the music and thus enhance his technique, so too did I have great input into dear Rexy’s performance in that aforementioned musical. I like to keep such things quite of course, but suffice to say that I was more or less the Henry Higgins to his Henry Higgins, if you see what I mean.

Obviously I am appalled at The Guv’nor’s latest stunt.

Me with my melodious voice, authority and experience… I would have been superb in the role of vocalist.

But was I asked? Was I even asked?

I can only assume that they are jealous of my gifts.

I remain,

Stylish but appalled

Wallace.

(The Man From The Hornet adds: We’ll premiere The Guv’nor’s hip hop debut and accompanying film right here on The Hornet very soon.)

www.hornetskensington.co.uk

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